Interview
with Mike of Damnation A.D. 2011
By
Bradley Smith
For me, when I got No More Dreams of
Happy Endings I found
a band who successfully married the dark and emotional aesthetics with
very hard
and metallic music. Do you agree with
that assessment and can you tell me about how you felt the scene was
developing
at that period and how Damnation AD fit into it?
Originally
I don't
think I realized how dark Damnation would really be. We started out
with the
intention of doing a sxe band that was heavier than Judge. But as we
started
working on the songs it started to become much more emotional than
anything
else. I did not know how to write lyrics so I was giving Ken random
scribblings
from a kid who
had
his heart
broken and was not sure how to deal with it. At the time I don't think
we fit
into any of the categories that people were putting our peers in and we
were
kinda left out. Some of the bands we toured with were Turmoil, Walleye,
Earth
Crisis, 454 Big Block, Lifetime, Integrity, Cast Iron Hike and Ignite.
All
sorts of different sounds. At the time all we wanted to do was play. We
were
not particular about who we played with. As long as we were out there. Looking back I realized
that we might have
been able to prolong it if we would have had a little more focus.
There was such a distinct progression
to me from the first
two CD releases and the Revelation records album, Kingdom of Lost
Souls.
How did you see Damnation AD’s sound
developing between those albums and how did In This Life or the Next
fit into
Damnation AD’s life?
The
two biggest
changes between Misericordia and Kingdom was a new drummer and a bigger
budget.
Ken is not a drummer and with the early stuff he was still writing the
drum
parts. When Dave Bryson joined us he really added a lot to the songs
and then
ken was able to really open up with his songs. For that record we also
went to
real studios and were able to spend time on the recording and make it
sound the
way they wanted to. With In This Life it was a similar experience. Ken
worked
closely with Colin to make the songs sound exactly how they dreamed
they would sound.
It was strange being back in the studio after almost 10 years and feel
confident about what we were doing. I was not very healthy for the
years in
between those records and pretty much stopped doing music. A few
friends
inspired me to start playing again and that is why I asked them to be
on there.
(Thanks to John, Karl, Wes, Petey, and Patrick. You guys restored my
love.)
You guys have had releases on 3 of the
most influential
records labels in hardcore history; Revelation, Jade Tree and
Victory.
Which was your favorite record label to deal
with and why did you choose to work with each of them, I mean I am sure
it
extended to more than just the financial aspects of each contract.
Each
label we
worked with had its own ups and downs. I do not really deal with the
business
aspect of the band. I am grateful to everyone who gave us a chance and
showed
faith in us. Tim and Darren at Jade Tree, Jason and Jordan at
Revelation, and
Clint and Tony at Victory. I will always be thankful.
One of the things I noticed when I
met/saw you in person
was that there is a contrast in your personal attitude, which seemed
very open and
friendly, and the rage and torment of your live performance. How do you
separate your “normal” self from that menacing and angst-ridden ridden
persona? What are you aiming for when
you step onstage? How did you cut your
forehead during the show?
Honestly
I have
never been a performer. I have always felt awkward with the attention
on me. It
took a lot for me to not spend half of my time with my back to the
audience.
Getting up on stage is something that is more emotional than anything
else. I
am not good at letting things go. The only release I have is when I get
up
there and it all comes pouring out. The circumstances at that show made
it much
more intense for me. At some point in the set I hit my head with the
mic and
that is what caused the cut. I had started thinking about the way
things were
in my life and why these songs still had meaning many years after being
written. The emotional pain I was feeling was not enough. I wanted to
feel
physical pain also. It made it feel more real.
Damnation AD was added to the bill of
the Unbroken gig at
the last minute. How did that come
about? Was it difficult to work in your schedule
and what sort of relationship do you have with Unbroken? How
did it feel to join Unbroken on stage for
some guest vocals?
Rich
Hall got in
touch with me about two weeks before the show. I was so excited!
Without even
really thinking about it I said yes. I did not realize that both Ken
and Colin
were on Tour in Europe and would not be easy to get a hold of. I am so
glad it
worked out. Unbroken is a very special band to me for many reasons. I
toured
with them back in 94 in Europe when I was out with Battery. That was a
really
rough tour on all of us. Since then we have only seen each other on
occasion
but I will always love them. Getting up there with them was special for
me. I
was ready for it and then got nervous and forgot was I was supposed to
do. Oh
well. I lost my chance.
You
are straight-edge and though on a personal level you
seem fairly vocal about it, but as a platform for promotion of this
lifestyle Damnation
AD has steered away from this. Why? And what is it about the
SxE lifestyle that
appeals to you?
Both
Ken and I are
very vocal about being sxe. We don't push our lifestyle on others. We
believe
that it is a very positive way to live and if we can influence any
younger kids
we want to do it. When I was younger I always had so much respect for
the older
guys who still called themselves sxe. It seemed like after a certain
age many
moved on. I held
the few who didn't in
very high regard. It is who I am and if I can influence the younger
kids that I
am happy about that.
When
I was younger
it helped give direction to live my life with a clear head. It is one
of the
many guiding lights I have had in my life and I am thankful for it.
I
read you have a problem with depression.
Being straight-edge, do you deal with that on
your own without any medication? What
methods do you use to tackle this recurrent problem and what advice
could you give
for others within the scene that are dealing with similar
emotional/mental
issues?
I
was first
diagnosed with depression when I was about 11 years old. Some of the most vivid
memories of my youth
are of my breakdowns that I can attribute to it. Only in the past few
years
have I really understood what it is and what I need to do to combat it.
For
many years I battled it on my own. After a while it became too much. I
fought
with the distortion of what sxe meant to me and the thought of
depending on
mood altering drugs. It was not until I had a seizure and the
medication I took
for that brought my depression to new lows that I agreed to take
medication to
help stabilize myself. It was a decision I was ashamed of for many
years. After
a while I realized that my depression was just like any other sickness.
It was
just more stigmatized. Soon I realized that I could have the same
positive influence
I wanted to have over others for being sxe. I began to be more
outspoken about
my depression and how I dealt with it so others would not feel as
alone. I
still deal with it today. It is something that I will have to deal with
for the
rest of my life. Therapy has been very beneficial to me over the past
several
years. I am at the age where I know what is wrong with me I just need
to learn
how to deal with it in healthy ways. It is amazing how issues from when
I was a
child effect how I handle myself now. I want to always keep learning
and
getting healthier. My
life depends on
it.
The
title In This Life or the Next conjures up existential
issues. What are
your views on an
afterlife and religion? Do
you believe
in reincarnation? Are
these concepts
easily summed up for you or are they far too complex?
And do you feel that religion has a place
in the hardcore scene?
I
have always
believed in something other than what we are. Growing up I went to
Catholic
school and that kinda showed me the negative aspects of religion. I
realized
that you were a sinner if you did not follow the rules they laid out
for you.
It has nothing to do with living a good life. That always bothered me.
At the
same time I have a hard time believing in karma. I see so many people
who act
and treat people terribly and they go on with their lives without any
sort of repercussions.
I think there is room for any sort of beliefs in hardcore. It is about
spreading
a message you believe in. If others don't want to hear it, they don't
have to
listen.
A lot of people get trapped in their
own nostalgia. What I mean is they kind of get addicted to
looking back to the “good ol days.” Have
you ever felt that way? And what period
would you be looking back at in order to recapture those
feelings?
How does someone avoid getting stuck in this
rut while still being able to look back and remember with joy and
respect,
maintaining a sense of perspective?
I
look back at all
the good times I had at shows and all the amazing bands I have seen.
There was
a lot going on where I lived so I was very lucky. I appreciate it for
what it
was at the time. I
love that music has
progressed. 20 years later and I am a different person. If the only
thing I
wanted to hear at this age was the bands that I listened to as a
teenager
something would be wrong with me. There are so many amazing bands out
there
now! Bands that
don't suck just because
it is not 1998 anymore. I
keep hearing
that it is not the same anymore. To
me
that is a good thing. A
conversation I
had with a friend the other day revolved around this.
He was jealous that I had seen Judge so many
times. At the same
time I am jealous
that he has seen Make Do And Mend so many times. I
don't have the means to keep up with all the
newer bands so I depend on other people for advice. In return I share
the older
bands that they may not have heard. It works out well.
Do
you feel that friends are important and what makes a
REAL friend? How
have your friends
helped you in the past and what ways have you been there for your
friends? The reason
I ask this, I see hardcore and independent
music scenes in general as a brotherhood.
So the BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP are important as I see it, but
it can really be
a subjective concept.
To
me one of the
most important aspects of my life is the friendships I have built with
people. When I was
younger it was more about the quantity
and less about the quality. Through the years I have learned that
without my
friends and family I am nothing. During the darkest parts of my
depression I
have drawn away from almost everyone because I did not want them to
have to
witness it. At
those times I learned that
I had people who really loved me. No
matter how hard I tried to push them away they held me. I have done some shitty
things to people over
the years out of desperation and they never held it against me.
When
I was ready
to come back they welcomed me with open arms. Those
bonds of friendship are what has held me
together. More than
any medication ever
could.
Any future plans for Damnation
AD?
Maybe a new album or any special
performances? What about with any of
your side bands and projects?
Right
now we don't
have anything planned. Ken
and I covered
Pornography by The Cure last summer. I am not sure what the status of
the album
is. We also remixed
and remastered our
early 7”'s. I don't
know what is
happening with that either. I
am hoping
to put together a few shows with Most Precious Blood sometime this
summer.
Other than that we will just stick to playing whenever we can get it
together.
I’ll
leave you the Final Words to shatter any happy dreams
we still have left.
The
past few
months have been some of the roughest that I have ever been through. I
have
been lucky enough to have people who have been patient and watched over
me.
Words cannot even begin to describe the love and gratitude I have for
you. I
love you all.
Ken
and I are working on a new When Tigers
Fight album. That
should be done by
early June.
Check
out hate5six.com. My
friend Sunny runs it. One of
the greatest people I have ever met.
Listen
to Halo Of Snakes and Hey Angel.
If you
are in Philly, check out Grindcore
House and Blackbird Pizzeria!
I love
my DNA family.
Thank
you!